1. |
Plant Matter
01:33
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what is this shit ?
i'm clearly not supposed to be here but
radiation just feels so good on my skeleton
nothing left but an endless spiral vortex
still i hope for some company i'm already lonely
am i god ? am i just a circulation of my blood
am i bleeding or am i just rolling in the mud
figure eighting baby man your battle stations buckle up
i remember now just to breathe just to breathe
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2. |
Plastic
03:01
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forming out of dust
guess i’ll move if i must
what happened to them ?
not advanced enough yet
yearning for the sunset
all i want is plastic
nothing helps the pain it sucks
i could’ve been anything
i guess i’m this
chemical reactions
my head throbbing
am i rotting or gay
what difference does it make
crack my bones until they break, break
back in genesis they never thought it’d be like this
they never thought it could be like this
way back in genesis they never thought it could be like this
they never thought it could be like this they
i could’ve been anything
i guess i’m this
chemical reactions
my head throbbing
am i rotting or gay
what difference does it make
crack my bones until they break
break
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3. |
Mirror
02:39
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in the mirror
my reflection looks so weird and strange today
but it’s always the same it’s always the same it’s always the same
in the mirror (when i look into my eyes)
my reflection looks so weird and strange today (no matter how hard i try)
it’s always the same thing it’s always the same thing
when i look into my eyes
no mattered how hard i try
if you really knew what all the fuss was for
if you opened up your heart
would there really be room for more ?
in the mirror my reflection looks so weird and strange today
it’s always the same thing it’s always the same thing
if you opened up your heart
could you imagine something different than we are ?
if you needed something else
something beautiful and loving
could you make it up yourself ?
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4. |
Trying Not To Die
04:06
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i’m staying up working tonight
if my body doesn’t let me sleep
what else is there to try
i am feeling kinda scary tonight
i feel fuzzy up inside my bones
i’m trying not to die but
i got all these shadows in my eyes
darting in and out my periphery
maybe they wanna fight ? uhhh
i wanna bury my head into the light
something keeps dragging me straight back into the night
but you don’t scare me
get the fuck out of my sight
don’t you know god is on my side ?
i’m done telling shadow people that i’m mad at them
i’ll just let it be a surprise
it’s ok
it’s my bad
to all the demons in hell
it’s my bad that i got mad
i looked like a real bitch face
but you just never really know what could happen
until it happens to you
some wounds never heal
if you’re lucky they might just scar over
a lot of wounds just get worse and worse with time
and time goes on and on
more
more people get wounded
and the hospitals are all closed still
your doctor’s on vacation
have you lived this life ?
have you seen this world before ?
i wanna bury my head into the light
something keeps dragging me straight back into the night
bitch you don’t scare me
get the fuck out of my sight
don’t you know god is on my side ?
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5. |
Magic Fire Brain
03:56
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just forget it
don’t you sweat it
my brain is soft enough
that nothing could upset it
i’ve got the lights on
i have no fight song
no piano no guitar
nothing to write on
rollercoaster
fork in toaster
i got a lighter and
a full can of rexona
dress no pocket
knife in socket
my heart/head is self destructing
nobody can stop it
no need to get embarrassed now
we have no friends around
i got this i got this i got this
i’m tired but i have got this
i’ve got this i’ve got this
glowing pink vortex of beauty and compassion
churning the world into emptiness
its my heart
at least its in a central location
a sort of jealous yam
bending reality into joy and acceptance
i’m not getting revenge it’s just
a 12 petal lotus with quickly spinning blades
i got this i got this i got this
i’m tired but i have got this
i got this i got this i got this
i’m tired but i got this
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6. |
Circumstances
02:58
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unconscious and perfectly free
i take on a physical body
circumstances complete me
circumstances repeating in me
my functions are trapped by fate
explode into chemicals rotting
sparkling in a rainbow
sparkling in a rainbow of blood
i wish i was good to the world
but i’m not i’m not even close
but i love you and you love me
when i installed the heavens in the sky
when i made the clouds firm overhead
when i let circumstance complete you
you’re flawed just how i intended you to be
useless like every living being ever was
i hope your beauty chews up the sun
no good to this world at all
useless perfect and free
i built
useless
nothing
not a nuclear bomb at all
stronger than iron and death
i wish i was good to the world
(but you’re not you’re not even close)
i wish i was good to the world
(you don’t need to, you don’t need to be good)
but i love you
i still love you
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7. |
Open Heart
04:32
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happy songs echoing
weirdly sad but still laughing
drawing near to death
my holy realm of flesh
heaven burns from above
the sun eclipsed by a white dove
they all wanna be god (i don’t want to be god)
how pathetic
everyone that i know
someday soon
grass will grow
over their bodies
i will be left alone
finally nothing to show
for all of the bloodsucking
parasites festering
nothing left nothing to sing
but my little songs
bury my head in the ground
i wait for your open heart, open heart
maybe it will never come
but i wait for a loving heart
to tear apart
i will still sing with joy and
pray from a loving heart
i don’t mind if it’s a dying heart
fragile like a hurting god could never hurt
fragile like a hurting god could never know
all alone in the clouds
it’s very sad to be so alone
that girl who couldn’t do anything
that girl who couldn’t do anything...
improved a little on her cooking
maybe that day will never come
the day you forgive yourself
let the pain flow out
maybe it’ll never come
and that’s ok
hey, we’ve all been there
we’ve all been there
i know it’ll never come
but i wait for a loving heart
a loving world
i know it’ll never come
but i still pray for that loving world…
i know it’ll never come
but i wait for a loving world
a loving world in the sun
i know it’s not ok
i know we can’t keep on being this way
or else we’ll fucking die
and you’ll be alone
and god’ll be alone
and god’ll be alone
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8. |
Soda
03:17
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is it ever over
the worst has just begun
i want a soda
i want music i want sun
sometimes it feels evil
sometimes it feels wrong
don’t think too hard about it
let’s just try to have some fun
everyone’s dying
someday we’ll be gone
it just gets harder
will i meet you in the sun ?
deep breath
my head hurts
keep it together
just
having a wishful dream about a future
that i never could’ve asked for anyway
i flew above hell carrying christ’s cross
he asked me to hold it up for him
and the lights shone off
and the people all burning in hell were like “what the fuck”
and i was like i dunno
im just like doing what that guy told me to
and its just
yknow
god works in mysterious ways
you ever hear that shit ?
people say it sometimes
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9. |
Milk
02:37
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a white facade where the river flows
a white facade where the river goes
between the ice and the water swirls
"do you think my body look like a girls?"
ice cold water look like a girl
turn up my milky underbelly please
up against the blood red sky
no christmas wish
no butterfly
i'll cross my heart
and hope to die
scream "i love rock n roll" to a smoke white sky
no air to breathe
magic fire brain
everybody dies
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hands keep slipping
soaked in milk
i'm not crying
my dreams fulfilled
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Devi McCallion Toronto, Ontario
black.squares.media at gmail
32/f
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